To the food bloggers and general food enthusiast crowd, laugh away. Go ahead, laugh your happy asses off.
I am 100% showcasing a totally tactless, frazzled soccer mom bake sale treat the day before Easter. I’m doing it, and I’m not at all ashamed because:
A.) They’re scrumptious
B.) Someone has to stand up for the frazzled soccer moms
Today, I feel like the one to do it.
I probably feel that way because yesterday, an innocent shopping venture in T.J. Maxx brought me to realize what an old, tired hag I’m becoming.
Firstly, I thought two of the dresses I picked up were misplaced slips from the lingerie section. Upon realizing that these were indeed garments intended for public wear, I was all like what? Who on God’s green earth is gonna put on a dress so translucent that onlookers can clearly see bellybutton, butt, and any/all other bodily bumps and indents whether they want to or not? Who is actually gonna drop $25 on a flimsy night-gown?
Who posses such questions? An elderly woman.
Next, the youthful noise of teenage girls (being super sassy about outfits, boys, and parties) that was blaring from the next stall had me gritting my teeth and looking for somebody to slap–hard. I can’t handle that much careless energy while I’m trying to calculate how early I can get away with climbing into bed on a Friday night.
Finally, at the end of this entire debacle, I just about wanted to ditch my chosen dress and buy fancy pajamas instead. And this is where I emphasize the becoming aspect of my becoming an old lady. I posses the desire for sophisticated jammies, but do not yet have dollars to spare on clothes made only for lounging, sleeping, and the occasional morning coffee run. I’ll stick with ratty old t-shirts and hold onto what’s left of my fleeting youth, I guess.
Although I’m nowhere near being a mom… and supposing I ever become one, I likely will not encourage my wee ones to play soccer, I do empathize with the soccer mom’s strife. There are days when you need something good and you need it fast. As a young frisky college student, such often takes life in the form of tequila shots. But once you start turning into an old lady, like myself, good and fast looks more like tossing crunchy chow mein noodles with microwave-melted goo in between attending staff meetings and grumbling in the T.J. Maxx dressing room.
And on that note, Happy Easter!
- 12 oz package of chow mein noodles (you will have some leftover)
- 1 (12 oz) package butterscotch chips
- 1/3 cup creamy peanut butter
- 1 bag M&Ms peanut butter eggs
Line two large baking sheets with wax paper. Set aside.
In a large glass bowl, combine the butterscotch chips ad peanut butter. Microwave in 30 second increments (stirring in between each) until melted and smooth.
When melted pour in about 3/4 of the chow mein noodles, stirring quickly to completely coat. Add more noodles as needed.
With a large spoon or ice cream scoop, spoon out mounds of the mixture and create and indent in the center of each. Arrange three eggs in the center of each nest, pressing them in firmly so they will stick. Allow to harden completely before serving.