Baked Goat Cheese & Fig Dip

Good golly miss molly, I thought taking a little hiatus from blogging might actually be nice…

I was wrong. So wrong.  This has sucked.           Pardon my crude, 10-year-old boy terminology.  Seemed fitting.

A little chunk of me has been missing. And not a chunk that I’m trying to lose either.
Does anyone else kind of despise the word chunk?      Sounds grody.

If I were all-powerful president of the world, we’d do away with the word chunk. And we’d do away with WordPress media upload limits…       unlimited media for all!

And more importantly, we’d totally re-vamp the food pyramid. In our new world order, goat cheese would have its own food group.

We’d call it…               Goat Cheese Group 

Except now that I think about it,  we don’t use the food pyramid anymore anyway.     We use MyPlate.     Whoops.

Well in real life, my plate has a lot of goat cheese on it.

And in my future global empire, so will everyone else’s.

Whatever form you please. In quiche, on pizza, straight up with crackers and fruit, or baked warm and creamy delicious with crisp crumb topping.    You can have whatever you like.
Just so long as everyone has 1 to 6 servings a day.

We will be the happiest planet in the dagum universe.

Also when I’m all-powerful world president…

 Elton John will be mandated to follow me everywhere and improvise a soundtrack for my life.        There will be harsh legal consequences if he says no.       Not that Elton John would ever do such a thing.

I will have a tech expert on staff who will prevent me from ever experiencing ridiculous technological issues funking with my life.

People will have more time to chill the heck out and bake bread to spread their goat cheese on.

And good toothpaste will not be so darn pricey.   It’s freaking toothpaste, come on.

Everywhere, there will be drinking fountains that spirt cafe con leche and others that spirt wine. But only red wine.
If you want white wine, you need to deal with that at home in private.

Is spirt a real word?       It will be in my new world order.

If anyone knows someone in extreme power, like Elton John or maybe Oprah, you should direct them on over to this post.

That way they can see what intense leadership qualities are weaved into my moral fiber and how ridiculously qualified I am to be a world ruler.

I’ve kind of gotten used to the idea.

Thanks in advance. Reward yourself with goat cheese immediately.

Baked Goat Cheese & Fig Dip

Adapted from Rachel Soszynski

  • 1 garlic clove
  • 1 pound cream cheese
  • 11 oz  fresh goat cheese
  • 1/4 cup mayonnaise
  • 1/3 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
  • Salt and freshly ground pepper
  • 1/2 cup fig jam
  • 1 cup panko (Japanese bread crumbs)
  • 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
  • toasts/crackers and crudités, for dipping

Preheat the oven to 400°F. In a food processor, pulse the  garlic until finely chopped, about 10 seconds. Add the cream cheese, goat cheese, mayonnaise, and Parmigiano-Reggiano and process until blended, stopping to scrape down the side of the bowl as necessary. Season the dip with salt and pepper and pulse to blend.

**Alternatively you can mince the garlic my hand and blend all ingredient in a large mixing bowl with an electric mixer. 

Spread the fig jam in one 8×8 inch baking dish. Spoon the goat cheese mixture on top. In a small bowl, toss the panko with the olive oil. Scatter the panko over the cheese and bake for about 20 minutes, until the panko is golden and the dip puffs slightly. Serve hot, with toasts and crudites.


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