Sometimes, when I sit on the floor and stare at the bazillion open windows and tabs staring back at me from my nasty food-encrusted laptop, I realize… my life looks weird.
Full of food. And full of weird.
Not that I’m some lardy weirdo that lives in my mom’s basement playing World of Warcraft and eating Cheetos. Because that’s sorta how it sounds right now.
I’ve never once pretended to be an online troll. Cheetos rarely enter my universe. My mom doesn’t have a basement.
It’s just that… if for some reason my life turned out to be a secret reality show, like Truman Show style, viewers with less weirdness going on might find themselves slightly bemused by a number of my routine doings.
I can just picture my pilot episode…
I get up at 7 am and start my day off with 40-45 minutes of some sort of cardio.
I say it’s to get my blood pumping.
So, I do that. Then… I come back, I bathe, I eat, I drink coffee, I do random other relatively productive things.
After that, I find myself with this strange mid-morning woozy feeling. It might be my vitamins.
If I can swing it, I un-pump my morning blood pumping and go take a nap.
Why don’t I just sleep 30 minutes later to begin with?
Shortly after I re-rise and semi-productively piddle some more, I want food. Again.
True story– I like leftovers. I like em a lot.
A great fervor fills my soul when I cook for reals and have stuff left in the pan or walk away from a restaurant with a styrofoam treasure chest in hand.
It’s not like I’m excited to reheat and consume the food as originally intended…it’s more of I can’t wait to pile an eclectic leftover blend between two slices of bread and christen it Darcy’s Daily Sandwich Deal.
Today’s special: mashed plantains, black beans and coleslaw on whole wheat. Bam. Yes.
But building this mighty recycled meal reminds me that I have stale bread in my pantry and should make bread pudding or something, which reminds me that during this morning’s mini snooze-fest I definitely had a dream about baking Cuban bread.
In the dream, I legit knew how to bake this bread, my loaves we’re looking loafy and we’re destined for perfection. Like why do people make this out to be so hard?
But omg, I never get to see them come out of the oven. I’m sorry, what?
So I leave my real life sandwich to go discover that dreaming about bread indicates primal requirements of life and could represent the better aspects of knowledge I have gained along my path in life. And dreams about baking suggest that I possess talents for success and inventiveness.
That all sounds real nice, but I never saw the bread come out the oven. I never tasted it, never made a leftover sandwich on it… what does that mean???
And omg again. Why is their real life burning bread smell all up in my nose?
Dang it. Real life sandwich is burning on the stove.
I will love it all the same.
Revitalized by a baby nap and burnt bread sandwich, I proceed with being a productive member of society and drag a laundry basket downstairs and around the corner to throw a quick load of whites in the wash.
Taking this productive society member concept a step further I’ll hop in the shower right quick to freshen myself into a presentable state before it’s time to chunk my laundry in the dryer.
Squeaky clean, but hey guess what…all my towels are white; and thus, sitting in the washing machine.
The obvious solution is to dry off with the exterior shower curtain and go deal with my soggy linens.
That requires me to walk outside with a half-wet head which results in irreversible frizz hair.
I have to go to some food thing tonight, socialize and be pleasant with a nappy head. Cool.
Since I already took my nap for the day and taking two would be lethargic, I decide to be zen-like and relaxy instead.
Meaning I’ll clean stuff and listen to Enya. Because what says zen like Lysol and Enya?
Apparently, normal people haven’t listened to Enya since the 90’s
Or wait, did normal people ever listen to Enya?
Whatevs. You can just sail on away from me with any Enya hatin.
Okay so yeah, maybe my life wouldn’t make a very good 24-hour reality show. Good thing it’s not.
But now that we’ve examined some of my questionable habits, here’s my question for you: why do half the people I encounter skip breakfast?
Passing up the most important meal of the day, a meal that includes stuff like wholesome berry yogurt oatmeal pancakes… that way out-weirds anything I do.
Nobody wants that. So here’s 5 reasons we should all eat breakfast:
- A solid morning meal gets everything going for the day. Even if you find yourself back in the bed 3 hours later.
- You will be a significantly happier individual. Like that girl wearing a rainbow outfit on the Jimmy Dean commercial.
- Breakfast foods are so delicious you’ll want them for dinner too. True confessions: I had these fluffy berry pancakes for lunch and for dinner, but never breakfast. Belgian waffles kinda had that covered. Scandalous.
- Eat breakfast now, eat less later.
- Because I said so.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, just sealed the deal.
Strawberry Oatmeal Pancakes
- 1 cup all-purpose flour
- 3/4 cup quick-cook oats
- 1 tbsp baking powder
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1/2 cup plain yogurt
- 2 egg yolks
- 3 egg whites
- 4 tbsp melted butter
- 2 tbsp sugar
- 1 cup thinly sliced strawberries
- additional fresh berries for serving
- warm blueberry, strawberry or maple syrup for serving
Sift together then flour, oats, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Set aside.
In a large mixing bowl, whisk together the yogurt, milk, egg yolks, and melted butter. Mix in the dry ingredients. Fold in the berries
In a separate, clean bowl beat the egg whites with an electric mixer until soft peaks begin to form. Add the sugar and continue beating a few minutes longer. Gently fold the egg whites into the batter.
**Note: if making the batter the night before, wait to beat and fold in the egg whites until ready to cook. You may also need to add more milk before doing so to thin out the batter after refrigeration.
Bring a griddle or greased skillet to medium heat. Pour batter according to your desired pancake size. When small bubbles begin forming all over the pancake, flip and cook the other side until done.
Serve with fresh berries and warm syrup.