Remember a week or so ago, when I said that thing about how my life was gonna be weird and hectic and junk for the next couple of weeks…so I more than likely wouldn’t be prolifically posting for a while. Any bells a ringing?
I have the memory of a rodent dropped on the head at birth too.
But now we’re all up to speed.
Rest assured, I am no liar. I’ve indeed been extremely shady the past few days.
This week has been engorged with spastically hustling through foreign lands, extensive bouts of driving, general chaos and food… lots and lots of food.
Aren’t you so jelly?
…That’s some cool young lingo I picked up recently. I try to stay fresh with the hip crowd. For the stale potato chips out there, jelly= jealous.
I seem to be asking a lot of questions of you today. Not cool. This is no interrogation.
We should just go back to discussing my current life, cause Lord knows that’s what you’re all here for.
And you know why I’m here? I’ll answer this one for you…
Because I’ve missed you this week. I’ve missed you bunches. Like the deserts miss the rain.
For the next few weeks, my days shall consist largely of what you see before you… coffee and delicious.
Not that it doesn’t always, but this may just be a whole new level of caffeinated food fury. I’m so stoked.
I’m stoked on coffee, calories and enthusiasm mainly because life isn’t straightforward. Never was. Never will be. How ambiguously consoling.
Our day-to-day existence is twisted. Twisted and delicious…like a Wendy’s Frosty.
Anyone out there who’s actually consumed a Twisted Frosty, I am so totes jelly of you.
I’ve wanted a Coffee Toffee Twisted Frosty from Wendy’s ever since they were unveiled. I mean, it’s made of everything I adore in this world… coffee, ice cream, chocolate, toffee and love.
Alas somehow, I’ve yet to obtain one of these fast food frozen delights. I just can’t bring myself to haul it on up to Wendy’s alone, then stare that cashier square in the eye and say, “Hi, my name is Darcy and I am here solely to purchase a 540 calorie ice cream product and shamelessly scarf it.”
I’ve been telling this one kid I know to save me the mild embarrassment and simply bring me this mystical cup of soft-serve with junk in it.
That would after all, be the kind and friendly thing to do…especially after that time you brought aforementioned kid a hunk of fudge cake which he proceeded to throw on the ground for his goofy-looking poodle-like creatures to eat.
I’m left to remain in the comforting confines of my own kitchen and concoct a cookie knock-off of my coveted frosty.
One day, it shall be mine.
But for now, a thick cookie crust cushioning layers of thick toffee sauce, coffee cream and chocolate ganache will do just fine.
Surprise surprise… these bars mate very well with actual coffee.
And the whole shebang tastes infinitely better if you serve your coffee in a super nifty giraffe mug.
Coffee Toffee Cookie Bars
- 2 & 1/2 crushed vanilla cookies
- 4 tbsp butter, melted
- 8 oz cream cheese softened
- 3 eggs
- 2/3 cup strong coffee
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 2 tbsp packed cornstarch
- 1/2 cup granulated sugar
- 1 tbsp brown sugar
- 1 stick butter
- 1 cup brown sugar, packed
- 4 oz semisweet chocolate
- 1/4 cup heavy cream
- 1 tbsp butter
For the crust:
Combine the crushed cookies and 4 tbsp melted butter to evenly coat, press in an even layer into a 9×13 baking pan & bake at 325F for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and set aside.
For the Toffee Layer:
Over medium heat combine 1 stick butter with 1 cup brown sugar in a heavy bottom saucepan until melted. Stirring occasionally, until boiling. Remove from heat and pour over prepared crust in an even layer
For the Coffee Layer:
Beat cream cheese until soft, beat in 1/2 cup sugar & 1 tbsp brown sugar until fluffy. beat in eggs 1 at a time, then vanilla and cornstarch. Finally mix in the coffee (cooled). Pour over crust and toffee layer.
Bake 35-40 minutes (or until set…still slightly jiggly in the very center.
remove from oven and allow to cool completely (roughly 2 hours).
For the Ganache:
Place chocolate in a stainless steel bowl. Heat the cream and butter over medium-low until just boiling. Remove from heat and immediately pour over chocolate. Let stand 5 minutes, then whisk until smooth. Pour over cooled coffee toffee bars and allow to set. Cut into squares and serve.
Store in the fridge.