Tea Parties & Dining Atrocities

Remember how I said I was gonna embark upon a refreshing dietary detox,  to cleanse my system of all the calorific heavy holiday feasting fare and acclimate to eating like a normal human being again? 

Right well, we’re about one week into the new year… and the detoxification  just hasn’t quite happened yet.

Being back home makes anything of that nature hard. Really hard.

It’s been something of a transition week. I’ve started eating healthy things again…but I usually have them in conjunction with not so healthy things…like pound cake.

 I’m 99% positive that dropping the tire that’s currently hanging out around my midriff will be an absolute breeze once I’m back in Athens and away from home-cooking, and friendly reunions that revolve around eating out, and those endless mounds of leftover sweets…I swear they will not disappear, no matter how many I eat.

Oh, and not to mention, away from the kind of people who throw random Sunday tea parties just for kicks and giggles.  

Tea parties laden with cucumber sandwiches, egg-salad sandwiches, fresh-baked scones with jam, strawberries with freshly whipped whipped cream, lemon tartlets, chocolate-coated brownie bites, and the little chicken-salad phylo cups I adore so very very much.

Plus tea.

I mean really, who even does that? I’m like hanging vegging in my jammies on Sunday afternoon when I get a call from my pal Rebecca informing me, “Hey, we’re having a tea party. Tea’s almost ready… you can just come on over whenever.”

 I guess I’m lucky to have such dagum adorable friends.

They make life substantially more enjoyable.

 And if that weren’t enough, dagum adorable people tend to give slightly fantastic gifts.

I guess after about 16.5 years  of best frienditude the girl would know that sitting on her couch watching The Jane Austen Book Club while sipping tea and eating dainty finger food is a completely idyllic afternoon by my standards, and she would likewise know that handcrafted bacon fridge magnets and dagum adorable baking notecards would make me squeal like a valley girl.

After this lovely tea time experience, you bet I was excited to continue ignoring healthy eating principles and  join up with a couple of my other dagum adorable best friends for dinner at a newly opened Valdosta restaurant. The company was fantastic…but that was about it.

Welcome to Cheddars.

My “monte cristo” was made with packaged sandwich meat and a Kraft American single, deep-fried, and served with a cup of raspberry jelly. My “fresh” steamed broccoli was obviously frozen out of a bag….look at it for goodnes sakes. Both of my companions ordered chicken pot pie, that apparently tasted like a T.V. dinner. Our waitress was notably sweating, mumbled incomprehensibly, and watched over our shoulders while we wrote out her tip.


What can we learn from this? I can’t say it enough….If you are ever dragged out to eat in Valdosta, GA..

  1. I’m sorry.
  2. Uh yeah, Valdosta is indeed attempting to acquire a branch of every chain restaurant known to man.
  3. If you value your dining experience in the slightest, avoid Cheddars.

Not to be a whiner, but thinking about it still irks me a little. Even the name sounds gross…Cheddars, it reminds me of Chuckie Cheese…which makes me think of germie little brats upchucking cheese.

Woah now, this is going really nasty places. Let’s just forget about it and think of happier days…

Like that day one of the aforementioned besties gave me yet another dagum adorable, perfectly Darcy Christmas gift. I know you must be green with envy at my lovely new monogrammed apron, precious decorative measuring cups, and my encyclopedia of country cooking. I’m now dying to make French onion soup.

Ahh much happier place.

In review: I’m bad at dieting; I’ll stop being so bad at dieting as soon as I’m out of Valdosta; Valdosta has a plethora of chain restaurants; they all suck; especially Cheddars; I have dagum adorable friends; you should have a tea party; I need to make French onion soup and reduce the size of my thighs, ASAP.


5 thoughts on “Tea Parties & Dining Atrocities

  1. Pingback: Steel Magnolias « Beauty & the Feast

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