Nutcrackers and Nutjobs

I told ya’ll I used to be a dancer, right?

Yeah, I’m absolutely positive I’ve mentioned it.  It was 15 years of my life for goodness sake.

I find my former tutu rocking  slightly ironic.. considering how these days  I get winded climbing the stairs, couldn’t touch my toes even if there were gold on my toenails, and invest roughly 65% of my free time in activities involving butter.

Eh It is what it is.

Going to see a performance of The Nutcracker  ballet is a time-honored holiday tradition for many folks around the world.

For ballerinas…and former ballerinas…. Nutcracker means a whole other level of traditions, rituals, holiday magic, etc etc etc. Which I am going to share a tidbit of with you lovely people because…

Well, that’s what I did this weekend…and it was real fun…and there was food involved…and I pretty much want to brag on my amazing little Dance Arts Inc. super stars. They’re amazing. End of story.

Unlike back in the old glory days of actually performing, this Nutcracker weekend provided an element of much needed, pre-final exams, stress-combating comfort for me.

Starting with a warm greeting from a heaping plate of my daddy’s homemade pasta sauce with meatballs and Italian sausage. Mama mia, I love being Italian.

That technically has nothing to do with The Nutcracker, but it was too delish to not recognize. There was red and green on my plate, I was in the Christmas spirit.

Right so, the true Nutcracker insanity begins with arrival in the dressing room.

Site of glamming up, intense mental preparation, last minute freak-outs, and rather offensive odors.















Or for the old creepy retired dancers who can’t leave the Nutcracker nest, the dressing room is where you go to annoy the snot out of the current stars by being  obnoxiously weird stage-moms.

But I mean, coming back and finding new ways to be a part of the experience is… well.. it’s the next level of the Nutcracker experience.

We all have our own way of showing love and support.

For some, that means being a dedicated slave to cranky ballerinas and running around with a bottle of corn syrup.

       For others, it’s stuffing their faces with sweets.

Kindly ignore the Duncan Hines box in the corner. The fact that we lovingly made the girls triple chocolate, whole grain, adorably adorned muffins should make up for the fact that they came from a package.

Even if the non-dancers might have ended up eating more than the dancers.

Stupid ballerinas and their stupid miniature waistlines.

 Coming back I guess forces you to realize that you can’t physically be a dancer foreva eva.

However, you really hold on to some pretty important stuff even after the show’s all over..

Dancing instills you with grace and poise…determination and strength.

It makes you a generally better individual.









Shoot, you even continue to learn junk from the essential  post-show venture to Waffle House 

I learned that crumbling bacon over your buttery, maple syrup-bathed, choco-chip waffle is the most efficient way to get your fat on.

Bri learned that you shouldn’t examine your waffle house food prior to eating it.

Ellen learned that you will get less-than-pleasant looks from your waitress if you opt to bring your own food into a restaurant, but constantly request that she refill your water…especially if you’re wearing 6 lbs more makeup than a normal hooker.












Rebecca learned that there is a very good reason as to why the  Waffle House is not called the Hamburger House.



Regardless of whether you’re an official old-fart retired ballerina, a soon to be old-fart retired ballerina, or still enjoying being a glamorous active ballerina, having a hand in dear dear Valdosta’s nutcracker weekend is a treasured experience.

Along with a few valuable life skills, a little bit of French vocab, and some really jacked-up feet, dancing has left me with a few of the best friends I could ever hope to find…ever.

No matter where you go or what you go through after leaving the stage, it’s a comfort knowing that you have another family to fall back to. A family that just happens consist solely of really pretty and really talented individuals…which makes for stellar family portraits.

A hearty congratulations to the ladies at Dance Arts Inc.

This year’s performance of The Nutcracker was totally off the chain and you were all absolutely radiant.

Now, go eat some muffins.




3 thoughts on “Nutcrackers and Nutjobs

  1. DARCY i love reading your food blogs (?) hahaha but of course i REALLY REALLY enjoyed this one
    thanks for coming and supporting us we really appreciate it and of course thank you for the muffins…THEY WERE AWESOME

    • Aww I’m so glad you read them! Oh gosh, there was NO WAY I was about to miss this Nutcracker! I had an absolute blast seeing all you girls and let me just say again how fantatsic you were Miss Sugarplum…okay, I was obviously expecting greatness, but you still absolutely blew me away! Ya’ll are amazing, can’t wait for recital, the end.

  2. Pingback: Ellen Chiangems « Beauty & the Feast

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